i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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