Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize