ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
