You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
