Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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