I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize