Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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