I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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