why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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