Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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