who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
