i think my tv is drunk
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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