i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
