bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize