This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
