nut hugger
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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