How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
