it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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