I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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