feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize