i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think I died a long time ago.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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