your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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