They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
