i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
