dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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