I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
