Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize