Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
