I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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