Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
