So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
