how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
