party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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