i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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