Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
