you win again, gameday.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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