I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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