I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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