You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize