...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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