apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
