I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
