seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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