First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
