You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
