those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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