where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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