we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
