It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize