I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
