When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
