Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
