that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was CRYING into my vagina
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
