That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
