hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
