It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Fuck appropriateness.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
