if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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