Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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