ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
