he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
