Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
