my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
