"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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