I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dick very happy bro
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