We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
