i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize