I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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