Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize