as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
